The DM Hangover: How Running My First D&D Campaign Nearly Broke Me
- Andrew
- Jul 20
- 8 min read
From Trivia Night to Dungeon Master
There are few positives which came out of our shared experience during the COVID pandemic, but one positive that had a lasting impact for me was when our bar trivia group became a Dungeons and Dragons (D&D) party. We were no longer trapped within our homes, but out exploring a fantastical multiverse full of adventure, intrigue, and questionable politics (who says a dragon can't be a good mayor over a small fishing community?). Life after COVID returned back to a new normal, and then new friendships were made in further exploring Dungeons and Dragons. It all changed when one day our Dungeon Master (DM) had indicated they would like to be a player. My poor naive self recognized the call to action and said "I'd be happy to DM the next campaign!" How wrong I was.
The Matt Mercer Effect
Although Dungeons and Dragons has been a tabletop role-playing game (TTRPG) for
over 50 years, it seems to have reached a level of fandom that it had not seen before. Yes, it had a shining moment in the early 80's, but no one I knew had played it. If they did, they never admitted it.
Then grew the world of social media, podcasts, streaming television shows like Stranger Things, and the well-timed revised rules of Dungeons and Dragons 5th Edition. One of the most popular podcasts and YouTube channels is that of Critical Role, which had voice actor, Matt Mercer, running a campaign with a group of talented actors and players. Renee and I also are fond of other podcasts called The Adventure Zone, Film Reroll, and aptly named Not Another D&D Podcast. All these forms of media have helped introduce Dungeons and Dragons to a whole new audience and also created what is now called the Matt Mercer Effect.
The talent of Matt Mercer and the success of Critical Role heightened the expectations of what Dungeons and Dragons could be when played at home. The downside is that it also raised the bar of what people expect when they are first getting in to D&D which can put a lot of pressure on new DMs to perform at the level of professional actors. It may not even be the other players, but the DM may put it on themselves to perform at the level of someone who has been making a living doing it; I am one of those DMs.
My First Session Running Curse of Strahd
I started off so excited! I bought the campaign book and digital content for The Curse of Strahd and read it from cover to cover. A horror campaign set in the world of Barovia ruled by the vampire named Strahd von Zarovich. A module I could really sink my teeth in to. Pun intended.
I started to build the maps, place characters, establish random encounters, made physical props, created the adventure hook, used music sites like Tabletop Audio, and spent over a day preparing for my first day to DM. I stumbled over my words, forgot characters names, fumbled with the audio, a misspell was pointed out in my handout, and I stared blankly when the players would make a decision I never would have anticipated. "You want to do what with the decorative armor in this hallway?" Finally the session ended, and I'm looking around the table to get a feel for how it went. I put so much time and effort in to it, and was looking for that gold star to go by my name. Nearly everyone looked half bored, but the general consensus was "same time, next week?" I was gutted.
When Preparation Became Burnout
I drove home feeling detached. Reliving the night, I was both sitting around a table with friends and also in the mist-shrouded realm of Barovia. When I finally got home, I rolled a critical fail on a constitution check and fell in to despair. I had never felt like this playing D&D before. It was something that always brought me joy. Why was I so disappointed? It was like Strahd von Zarovich manifested as my inner critic, and with a light laugh said "you do know the Vistani and Vallaki are two different things, don't you?" which then I would think "yeah Brain! why can't you remember that!?" It was now coming up on the second session. I know what I'll do. I'll prep even more! I left the second session feeling even worse.
Understanding the DM Hangover
It got so bad that I started to become excited when someone had to cancel. I would smile and go "Oh! That's terrible!" like Bill Hader's Dateline skit on Saturday Night Live (SNL). Yet, I really didn't know how to end it. Although no one seemed to enjoy it as I had wanted them to enjoy it (outwardly at least), they still kept indicating that they would like to continue to the following week. Fortunately, after a few more sessions, something finally started to break through. I had located the sunsword and now my inner critic, Strahd, no longer had as much power over me. He was still there, but I found myself less depressed and more curious to what the players may do in the next session. I can't pinpoint exactly when this change happened, but I can say that my prep-to-play ratio made the most difference.
I no longer spent an entire day or two prepping for the next session, but started to reduce it to a few hours of just placing hidden tokens on digital maps and writing a few words to jog my memory on plot points. The general response at the end of the session was about the same, but hark! Was that laughter I heard? In Barovia of all places!? It was! It was me finally realizing this is a game between friends and that I am not a professional voice actor making content. I needed to learn to accept that.
Five Things That Helped Me Become A Better Dungeon Master
After trying to make sense of what I was experiencing, I had learned there is such a thing as the post-show blues in the performance world. For Dungeon Masters, it is called the DM hangover where all that mental processing of several NPCs, battle maps, music, etc. finally stops which can cause a few marks of exhaustion. If you are a new DM, and you are experiencing the DM hangover, here is what has been helpful to me.
Why so serious!? - Even if you are running a dark, and serious campaign, is that how you normally interact with your friends? If the antagonist is a conniving a-hole, don't be the conniving a-hole as the DM. I haven't read one interview where someone lauded method acting, except from the people who use method acting to justify their behavior (Daniel Day-Lewis being an outlier). Theater kids and Improv troupes may enjoy this challenge in their D&D campaigns, but for general board game friendships - just be you. Treat the game as it is - a form of collaborative storytelling.
Find a prep-to-play ratio that works for you - There is a part of me that finds the prepping for a session cathartic. My mind is exploring and creating worlds and I can get lost doing it with quite a bit of joy. The other day I made a spirit board for a one-shot I may never use, but I found enjoyment in the making. However; the danger lies when that cathartic experience of prep doesn't create the sensation at the table. If I spent the day making the spirit board, and there isn't really a response from the table when I unveil it in to the story line, then that can be quite demoralizing. Get a feel for your friend's engagement and if you find that music is too distracting, props are quickly forgotten, etc. then scrap them from your prep time. Which leads me to my next point.
Dungeons and Dragons isn't for everybody - Although it pains me to say, I have had to accept it that not all friends will get in to the game the same way that I will. The challenge is in not taking it personally. Sometimes D&D is just used as a means to share snacks, stories, and spend time with friends. For a DM who is creating a one-person production, this can be very difficult to navigate with emotionally. In one session, I had a friend start falling asleep at the table. They later apologized saying they had a rough night, but they finally admitted the game isn't for them. I tried to adapt to their player needs, but I finally accepted that I wasn't going to make fetch happen for this person.
Cut the fat - In a campaign like Curse of Strahd, the authors do a good job providing backstories and motivations for many, MANY, characters. In the village of Vallaki, there are over 30 referenced NPCs. I treated it as a challenge and tried to manage the 30 characters moving and interacting, at any given time in the village. If Bob, guard number 2, is having an existential crisis because he just turned 25, but he doesn't help move the story along, then send Bob back to the mists of Barovia.
A trick I did find very helpful with this is that I would use a digital map like the ones in D&D Beyond and place invisible tokens on the map. It can be a square representing where a trap is, what doors are locked, or even Guard Bob. The players can interact with the map, but I am the only one who can see where Bob is. I then can weigh how my improv skills are feeling at that moment and Guard Bob, now Zombie Bob, with his
"Don't Hassle Me I'm Local" shirt on, can make an appearance or disappear forever.
It's ok to say no - It's a lot of work to continually create a new adventure around busy and conflicting schedules. I might have prepped for something that won't happen for another 3 weeks, which then will cause me to have to re-prep to remember it all.
If running a weekly session takes too much out of you, then recommend every other week, once a month, or that someone else in the party run a campaign concurrently. If you can't shake the DM hangover, then look for other opportunities to be a player or stick to shorter campaigns, known as one-shots, so you can better control the commitment and expectations.
Looking Forward to the Next Adventure
The campaign has now reached it's 2nd year of intermittent play at 27 sessions and is nearing the final conclusion. Although it is a bittersweet feeling to see the finish line, I am relieved that I have found a level of solace as a DM. It may be a long time until I choose a campaign as in-depth as Curse of Strahd again, but there is a part of me that is excited in making a solid one-shot that I can utilize anywhere in the world with our travels.
Perhaps on our next cruise, a dense wall of ocean fog rolls in. As we peer into the endless gray, a translucent 17th-century pirate ship materializes off the starboard side, its ghostly lanterns burning with eerie green fire. A grizzled voice echoes through the mist:
"Prepare to be boarded."
A deep, chilling laugh follows as the fog thickens, swallowing everything from view...
Have you ever experienced the DM Hangover? If so, how did you manage it?
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